Eyes
by KimberlySan
Summary: Songfic... A Dido song called "Honestly OK". Its all about Snape.. his feelings about Lily and Harry... and those emerald eyes..


Eyes  
By: Kimmy-Sama  
  
*....* = thoughts  
AN:Dont ask me where this came from! I just started typing... I personally like it a lot, but then I don't know squat. Please R&R!  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to a really awesome woman and the song, 'Honestly, OK' belongs to Dido.  
  
  
  
"Amazing... simply amazing.."  
  
What was amazing..? What was so amazing about this certain ring? He had it sense he could remember, really. Where it came from, he had no idea. So why in the name of Merlin's beard was it so damn amazing? Severus shifted in his shoes uncomfortably. It was awkward to be standing there, in front of his Transfiguration teacher as he looked over the silver band. It happened by accident, he was gathering his things when it slipped off his finger and rolled right to the bottom of Dumbledore's robes. He had tried to grab it and rush out before the older wizard would pick it up, but it was to late.  
  
"Uh... uh-huh... Professor, I need to get to lunch.."  
  
"Severus, where did you get such an amazing ring?"  
  
How on earth was it so amazing? "I've had it all my life. Ever sense I could remember. Perhaps my mother's or something.." *Just give it back already!*  
  
"Perhaps..." Quietly he placed the ring on Severus' open palm, but grabbed his shoulder before he could run off. "Severus, you should take good care of that ring. Give it to your children. It holds a great deal of love in it."  
  
All Severus heard was the rumbling of his stomach. "Yeah.. see ya Professor!"  
  
Not even a thanks was uttered as the 7th year rushed out of the classroom, heading to the Great Hall.   
  
~*~  
  
I just want to feel safe in my own skin, I just want to be happy again  
I just want to feel deep in my own world  
but I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore  
  
~*~  
  
  
"Lily.... what, did you say?"  
  
He could barely stand straight. He was staring deep into the pools of emerald that he had fallen in love with, the ones he gazed into as they spent night after night together, ever sense she had left her last love. If anything, he wished those eyes would smile with her rose lips, and she would laugh. Saying she was kidding and that she just wanted to see how he would react. But this time.. her eyes were filled to the brink with warm, salty tears. There was no sign of a smile coming.  
  
"Severus..." He pleaded in his mind... *Don't say that again... dont say it!*  
  
"I'm pregnant.... but... not with you."  
  
It hit him with as much force and damage of a rockslide. He could just feel his insides twist and knot in such pain. "How.. do you know its not mine?"  
  
"Its... to far along. The baby is about six weeks mature now.."  
  
Of course he wanted to say that she was wrong. This child had to be his. But then.. he had only just fist made love to her about three weeks ago... or was if four? Maybe there just was a chance. He looked at her with pain. Such pain that he couldn't bare it anymore. Those damn eyes of hers. They were locking onto his very soul.  
  
"It can't be.. we've been together for three months... You..." Suddenly it dawned on him. How could he have been so blind? They had been out of Hogwarts now for over a year, he thought maybe she had forgotten him... had learned to love only Severus and to know he loved her in return. This just couldn't be true. No way could Lily Evans, the woman he planed to spend the rest of his life with... could have.... "..cheated on me....?"  
  
Her face turned down on her hands as she began to sob. Severus didn't move to comfort her. He just stared in disbelief, thinking back to how she would laugh and hold onto him. Actually made him smile and laugh with her. How she used to touch his face and stay how much she really did love him. Like a fool he believed her, he simply was her pawn in this game. She simply wanted to tear his heart from his chest and throw it at his feet. Finally, his first movement sense she had told him was to gaze downwards at the floor. Her floor. Of her house. He was in the wrong place. Turning, he headed to the door.  
  
"Severus.. you... your leaving?"  
  
*Do you really expect me to stay??* He felt like screaming, causing her more pain. Just so she would know how much pain he was in at the moment. So she would feel the same pain he was going through. "Yes." He said sharply, as if to let her know not to push it. Before he exited the room, however, he paused. "Tell me something, Evans... " His words cut her last name with an edge of hate that she easily picked up. "Was it that fool, Potter?"  
  
Trembling, Lily nodded, her red hair falling over her pale and wet face. "Yes.." Her whisper was barely a breath.  
  
Severus Snape shook his head, his raven hair caressing his cheek softly. "This will not be a welcome child."  
  
  
~*~  
  
On a different day, if I was safe in my own skin  
then I wouldn't feel lost and so frightened  
but this is today and I'm lost in my own skin  
  
~*~  
  
Harry Potter. So he had finally come to Hogwarts. Of course Severus knew this day would eventually come. Part of him feared to see the new boy whom defeated the Dark Lord. The other part of him feared what he would do to the boy who resembled so much of James. He had the hair, the build. Even those annoying glasses! But it was behind those frames in which Severus found himself staring most at. Those damn emerald eyes.   
  
Every year it seemed that the boy was just like his father. A certain neglect for rules and what teachers are trying to help with. He even put other people in danger so he could go and have a good time. That brat. But as much as he wanted the boy to just disappear, be expelled, he knew he would miss him. Miss the love he had in him, the feeling of Lily's presence in his young form. And most of all... those eyes.  
  
Now, much older and more wiser than before, Severus stood in front of his Professor, even if he wasn't anymore. Albus Dumbledore had been doing some thinking when Snape entered his office, looking as if he had been doing much of either crying or thinking. Albus knew it probably had been both.  
  
"What is it, Severus?"  
  
The potion's master didn't move his eyes from the ring on his smallest finger. The only sound for quite sometime was Fawkes rustling its beautiful feathers. As if after getting motivation from an unseen force, Severus stepped to right in front of Dumbledore's desk, and his hand gripped the other.   
  
"Headmaster... I... needed someone to turn to."  
  
"You can always come to me. You know that."  
  
"Yes, I know and thank you... but this is a matter of which.. I have not told anyone."  
  
Behind those half moon glasses, Albus Dumbledore's eyes glittered. "Take a seat, Severus."  
  
Of all times, Severus never said so much without being interrupted. He spoke and told the whole story of his love for the wife of the man he hatted. How she said she was over him and then betrayed his love for being in James' arms. How the pain kept coming back to him everytime he looked into the eyes of their child. How he acted to hate the child, want him to leave and never come back.... and yet love the boy as if he were his own.  
  
As he spoke, the Headmaster of Hogwarts just watched the teacher in front of him. His hands were folded over his long white beard, and his ears were picking up everything. As Snape finished his long story, he didn't even seem at all shocked as the Professor wiped away a few stinging tears.  
  
Quietly, and calmly, Dumbledore spoke. "Its hard, Severus... but then... what can you do to make it better?"  
  
Snape looked up from his hands and stared blankly at the old wizard's face. He wasn't expecting a way to make it all go away but usually Albus could tell him something to make him feel better. It was strange.. but then he knew what he was trying to say. He couldn't do anything to make the pain go away, but to live each day and do his best to smile once again.  
  
With a quick movement, the ring on Snape's finger was off, and he looked down at the Headmaster with a bit more confidence then before.  
  
"I have a favor to ask you."  
  
Dumbledore smiled.  
  
~*~  
  
I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore  
I just want to be safe in my own skin,  
I just want to be happy again.  
  
~*~  
  
Harry sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, eating his breakfast quietly. He was alone at the moment, Ron and Hermione had run off, no doubt to finish up homework before class. As he looked around the crowded Hall, he heard the familiar sound of owls flying through the high windows, dropping packages and letters to different students. He didn't expect it, but an owl dropped a small parcel on his lap, then flew off without stopping. Setting his fork down, he silently picked it up and untied the string around it.   
  
A silver band, fell on the table in front of him. He picked it up, and looked over it quietly with his deep green eyes. After seeing nothing to interesting about it, he opened the folded piece of parchment, and read it himself.  
  
  
Harry Potter,  
  
Please, take this ring and the bond in which it possesses. I have spent many years holding it and now I feel that I must get rid of it. The reason I give it to you, Mr. Potter, is that this ring is a very special ring. Amazing if it were. It is said there is lost of love in its small form. I must have gotten it from a loved one long ago, I cannot recall. But remember, only the love of a parent could make this ring truly special. So I ask you kindly to accept this gift. Someday, pass it on to your children, as I am doing now.  
  
With love,  
A True Father  
  
  
Harry reread the note a few times before setting it down and looking at the ring. Unsure, but with a bit of understanding, he picked up the ring and slid it on every finger, until it finally fit on his thumb. It was a bit strange... but part of him felt like it was just... perfect.  
  
As he looked around the room, he spotted two people gazing in his direction. Dumbledore, who was smiling brightly and sipping his pumpkin juice, and Professor Snape... his head rested on his hand.   
  
  
Snape was just observing Harry for the sake of those eyes.  
  
Those damn, emerald eyes.  
  
  
  
  
~Fin~  
  
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